Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Maybe Milk & Beans Don't Really Go Together

Overheard (person is talking into cellphone):
"I discovered my problem is the soy milk.

*pause for other person to respond*

It's not the noisiness of the gas ... it's just ...

*in a very hushed matter of fact voice*

... it's just very strong."


  1. proof positive. Milk comes from mammals, and any attempt to build milk out of vegetables will make you fart. Not just any ol' ass-gas... a stinky variety! Trap your lovers head under the covers and giggle like youre six years old.

    When it comes to milk, pick a mammal!

  2. P.S. - do you mind if I blogroll you? What am I thinking? I don't need your consent... I'm white!

  3. What's a blogroll?

    Is that like a chickenroll, but with logs?

    let's not get crazy here. I don't remember putting "white people can do whatever they want" in my profile.

  4. i can't pick sides on this milk argument because i don't drink milk of any variety so that's that.

    thanks for stopping by my blog yours is quite interesting! :)

  5. Dude, this is my new favorite blog.

    Can I blog roll you too?

    My best friend of all time has been missing (at least from my life) for over 16 years, he's black, do you know him :)

    Jokin, I am from Canada and everyone I meet in teh US seems to think I know "steve" or "john" frmo Toronto.

    But seriously, Leroy Williams, 39, parents from Trinidad? :)

  6. There's a reason why they're called dirty hippies, or dirty vegans, and it's not just because of their lack of desire to shower...

  7. ok, i checked. unfortunately I won't be able to eat blogrolls, but anyone can feel free to blogroll away.

    Annush - thanks

    judgeg - thanks. I'll look around negro headquarters and see what I can find.

    cecil b - is the reason because they were in the "dirty" video for Christina Aguilera?

  8. One thing I could never figure out with soy milk is how they milk soy beans when they don't have nipples.

    I tried soy milk for a while since cow milk gives me the old 'rrhea but I could never get into the taste, even the chocolate-flavored kind.

  9. I eat and drink whatever I want and then I just blame every smell on the dog. But I guess I really don't have to since I don't have a dog. And I live by myself.

  10. I'm completely anti-soy milk. It ties too closely with vegan-ism and vegetarianism.

    Drink milk. Eat cows. If we don't keep them down, they'll rebel against us. Steal our possessions. Rape our women.

    plus, cow products are absolutely delicious.

  11. How do you not interrupt a stranger's conversation after "It's just very strong"? Even if it's just to grab the phone and assure the other person that their friend is totally not kidding?

  12. It's when you link people's blogs on the sidebar. I'm updating mine soon... adding some cool blogs and dumping people that I no longer find interesting. I'd like to add yours if you don't mind...

  13. cows raping women is amusing imagery. If the feminists would just back off for a bit, we could probably spin that into a movie...

    orange - *not looking at your face* hello there. so nice to see you ... come around here often?

    You definitely can't grab the phone, they may get nervous and let one go. And then best-case scenario, you'll be the one on the phone telling your best friend, "they should kill every last one of those filthy soy bean milkers ..."

  14. I blogrolled you, TAN, and am about to dip you in wasabi. Mmmm...wasabi.

  15. Are you trying to say I smell fishy?

    I bet Buonanotte is long for Bono...

  16. No, "I" smell fishy. I'm a girl. Belly buttons is fer tartar sauce.

  17. OMFG--I am just laughing hysterically at these comments... oh shit, I gotta go lie down now..

  18. You may be a new kid on the block, but I've got to get around to updating my blogroll. Hello? Eyes up here, man. Frankly, I don't know how you find the time to write this many posts. What it that, five posts on Thursday alone? Where do you even find the time to ogle women?

  19. Thursday's the day I grow an extra arm.

    I'm amused that the Soy Milk post currently has the most comments.

    Rach-a-e-l - when asked to pick a mammal I always go with the platypus. Platypus milk and pomegranate juice will be the elixirs that carry us through this new millennium.

  20. Mr. Negro, it is a well-documented fact that potty content always inspires a lot of comments. Poop, farts, pee, public toilets, whatever. They're blog gold. So are boobs, but you haven't got any of those, have you?

  21. Anonymous10/19/2005

    Soymilk is much better in coffee than real milk is. Time Magazine didn't know its ass from a hole in the ground on that particular issue-- or most others, for that matter.

    Sometimes I get tired of explaining why an omnivore would drink soy. I just plain like it. So I lie and say I'm lactose intolerant, and hope that nobody notices the grilled cheese on my plate.

    Oddly, soymilk is awesome, but soy cheese is vile. It's a weird world we live in. --alsis39

  22. Sign up for blogrolling--I did, and I'm computer illiterate. But I have you on my blogroll. You're a hoot.


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