I once started a neverending interview, but now we're switching to a "Dear TAN" feature. Send your questions/letters to theassimilatednegro [at] gmail [dot] com.
In this edition: Nigeria in the 70s sounds awesome!
Machetes are the new i-phones...
I lived in Nigeria in the early 70's and watched a traffic jam develop. Suddenly a cab driver exited his cab and attacked one of the other drivers stuck in the jam (as were we). He killed him there on the street in that moment. No one batted an eye. Not sure if he used a machete...oh well, doesn't matter...same idea.
That story is crazy.
Life is cheap in those countries -or it was then anyhow. Eventually, you sort of harden over too. I can remember being out with a bunch of wealthy westerners in India, in a cab, and then stepping over mothers with suckling infants to reach our restaurant. I had just had a baby and was acutely aware of how beautiful his bedroom was, with the nanny in attendance, in contrast to the baby in the street who was wallowing in filth at his mother's breast. We were new there. It doesn't break your heart as much after a while.
But Nigeria was the best. There was the 1 lane bridge that would have stalemated cars backed up for miles and hours. We packed a lunch every time we drove to Lagos because that bridge always ended up with 2 drivers who would NOT yield. Then there was the king who had lots of money and no sophistication. He installed johns in his living room (no water, not used) just because they were western and signified wealth. And don't get me started on the desiccated rat we received as a present. Or the lamb eyes we had to eat. One could go on and on but it is Saturday night. Must go drink.