Sunday, January 22, 2006

Chuck Norris & TAN Will Kick Your Ass

Izmist sent me this link a while back to some random facts about Chuck Norris. I found it pretty amusing. Here are some highlights:
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

more ...
if you know some other Chuck Norris facts add them to the comments ...


  1. OMG that is, like, SOOOOOO last month!!!

  2. Anonymous1/22/2006

    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

  3. I saw this on someone's blog a while back and I thought they made it up! I was impressed, and now, well, now I'm a little pissed off!

  4. Anonymous1/22/2006

    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

  5. "F*ckin' Chuck Norris."

    Best line in Dodgeball.

  6. THere is a song by The Chuck Norris Appreciation Society that uses a bunch of these. My fav is "When Chuck Norris was born the nurse said "Holy Hell, that's Chuck Norris!" and then she slept with him. At that point she was the third woman he had spelt with."

    Here is the link to the song. It's on WFMU's Blog.

  7. The Vin Diesel facts are not to be missed also. They're on the same site somewhere.

  8. ...that SNL skit I posted above apparently isn't old at all, I guess they just did it very recently. Who knew? SNL is doing good stuff.

    In my quest to turn this comment thread into all things Chuck Norris, I offer you this...
    Screen shots from Chuck Norris Superkicks. A game for the Atari 2600.

    "In this action game you play the part of Chuck Norris on a quest to reach a monastery where an important leader is kept hostage."

  9. I spent last weekend with my college-aged brother and his friend. All they did was quote these "Facts" back and forth. My favorite was:
    One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.


    My son's blog has a reference to Chuck...check it out....

  11. Anonymous1/29/2006

    Boy I wish, I had time to sit around and think up these bull shot facts about people. Hey how about you get a real job and quit living off the Government, that protects your sorry butts.

  12. Anonymous1/26/2007

    There is no chin underneath Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist!

  13. Anonymous1/26/2007

    There is actually no such thing as evolution. There is only a list of creatures that Chuck Norris allows to survive.

  14. Anonymous1/26/2007

    Did you know that Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer? Too bad he never cries.


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