Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Badonkathoughts

When out painting the town black, white, and read all over, I've often had ladies suggest that I'm a player or womanizer. This is definitely not from seeing me in the club with my shirt open and salsa dancing with eighty hot mamacitas, because, well, the clubs I go to all make you keep your shirt buttoned all the way up. So I suspect the reason I get this is because I can charm with the great ones. For karma and humility's sake, sure, sometimes my Charm Maybach needs some maintenance, gotta rotate the tires on some of those can't-miss zingers sometimes. But for the most part, when I turn it on and shift into third gear, it's all over; I get digits, money, drawers, thank you cards from the grandma ... all of that.

But the thing is I'm not a player, I just blog a lot I’m a philosopher. I’m not an ass man, I'm an idea-man. So often when girls think I'm distracted by some greener ass, it's less that, and more like, "what the F happened to your brain?!!?" Boobies and booties don't evolve — at least not very quickly — but brains do, and I'm all about evolution. Little TAN is too. So things might be different between us the next morning, not because I got to hit it from the back (yay!) and I'm an asshole, but because every single day I wake up a different man. It's not you, it's me life. [insert "I'm an asshole" joke here].

Booties are cool, my head can swivel as much as the next guy, but arses don't get me riled up and invigorate my soul. I don't pray for phatties. New York City's freezer is full of prime cuts of Grade A Ass(for the record, I have no problems with Grade B Booty either; now Grade C Coochie?? ehh)... My point is, BADONKATHOUGHTS, that's the ish I'm looking for, that's what gets the player in me looking for the keys to the Charm Coupe. Can you f my head up with some sexy brainstorm? There's nothing better than placing your hands on a nice tight-ass badonkathought, ask anyone. Just getting to feel it up, everywhere, cupping the supple nuances of your ... oooooooh yeah …. I love how that feels baby, that badonkathought is tiiight. I could keep my hands on it all night long.

14 comments:

  1. very thoughtful..now go gather up all the menfolk and tell em we want the same thing!

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  2. T.A.N.,

    Fantastic. Intellect and ass, what a concept. Maybe that is why some people actually get married. I wouldn't know about that since it is my goal to hold it down for the single people for as long as I can.

    Stupid is not sexy, it is not cute as a matter of fact it is annoying and that too makes me want to punch someone in the face. :-) Intellect is ten times sexier than a six pack, tight ass and smooth bald head. Well, the bald head might distract me but I would realize that it is stupid quickly and bounce.

    T.A.N, my negro brotha from anotha motha.

    Ms. Denva

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  3. Dude... you hit it in the right spot!

    It is all about the brain... the rest (while pleasing) is superficial.

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  4. Of course if a girl has brains and booty (ahem) she knows the world is hers. You can't handle it TAN.

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  5. The word supple makes anything sexy. Thanks for noticing my nuances. I've been working out.

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  6. Ain't it the truth... it's not just the booty - it's the conversation that goes with it (and before it, and after it... and sometimes during.)

    Sigh.

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  7. I think I just fell in love with you.

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  8. God, you have enough badonkathoughts going to keep you warm into your mid 30s or 40s, oh you crazy TAN. Personally I think you are just "too much of something" for one woman- don't let those hos tie you down. Bitches can be crazy.

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  9. Dude--
    Your writing is very inspired and interesting, but i just gotta ask this party-game question: are you an Aquarius? 'Cause the grandiosity and newness of your ideas drift like Aquarius ideas.

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  10. smartastic1/30/2007

    hm. i guess the issue here is how's you end up in bed with them if they didn't have the badonkathoughts to begin with?

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  11. Anonymous1/30/2007

    get. out. of. my. mind!!!!!

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  12. You're such a punk. I hate when you go all mister softee for the ladies.

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  13. Can't-miss zingers!!!??
    Do share.

    I hope they involve more super-sexy automotive hyperbolae.

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