Tuesday, January 30, 2007


When out painting the town black, white, and read all over, I've often had ladies suggest that I'm a player or womanizer. This is definitely not from seeing me in the club with my shirt open and salsa dancing with eighty hot mamacitas, because, well, the clubs I go to all make you keep your shirt buttoned all the way up. So I suspect the reason I get this is because I can charm with the great ones. For karma and humility's sake, sure, sometimes my Charm Maybach needs some maintenance, gotta rotate the tires on some of those can't-miss zingers sometimes. But for the most part, when I turn it on and shift into third gear, it's all over; I get digits, money, drawers, thank you cards from the grandma ... all of that.

But the thing is I'm not a player, I just blog a lot I’m a philosopher. I’m not an ass man, I'm an idea-man. So often when girls think I'm distracted by some greener ass, it's less that, and more like, "what the F happened to your brain?!!?" Boobies and booties don't evolve — at least not very quickly — but brains do, and I'm all about evolution. Little TAN is too. So things might be different between us the next morning, not because I got to hit it from the back (yay!) and I'm an asshole, but because every single day I wake up a different man. It's not you, it's me life. [insert "I'm an asshole" joke here].

Booties are cool, my head can swivel as much as the next guy, but arses don't get me riled up and invigorate my soul. I don't pray for phatties. New York City's freezer is full of prime cuts of Grade A Ass(for the record, I have no problems with Grade B Booty either; now Grade C Coochie?? ehh)... My point is, BADONKATHOUGHTS, that's the ish I'm looking for, that's what gets the player in me looking for the keys to the Charm Coupe. Can you f my head up with some sexy brainstorm? There's nothing better than placing your hands on a nice tight-ass badonkathought, ask anyone. Just getting to feel it up, everywhere, cupping the supple nuances of your ... oooooooh yeah …. I love how that feels baby, that badonkathought is tiiight. I could keep my hands on it all night long.


  1. very thoughtful..now go gather up all the menfolk and tell em we want the same thing!

  2. T.A.N.,

    Fantastic. Intellect and ass, what a concept. Maybe that is why some people actually get married. I wouldn't know about that since it is my goal to hold it down for the single people for as long as I can.

    Stupid is not sexy, it is not cute as a matter of fact it is annoying and that too makes me want to punch someone in the face. :-) Intellect is ten times sexier than a six pack, tight ass and smooth bald head. Well, the bald head might distract me but I would realize that it is stupid quickly and bounce.

    T.A.N, my negro brotha from anotha motha.

    Ms. Denva

  3. Dude... you hit it in the right spot!

    It is all about the brain... the rest (while pleasing) is superficial.

  4. Of course if a girl has brains and booty (ahem) she knows the world is hers. You can't handle it TAN.

  5. The word supple makes anything sexy. Thanks for noticing my nuances. I've been working out.

  6. Ain't it the truth... it's not just the booty - it's the conversation that goes with it (and before it, and after it... and sometimes during.)


  7. Anonymous1/30/2007

    I think I just fell in love with you.

  8. God, you have enough badonkathoughts going to keep you warm into your mid 30s or 40s, oh you crazy TAN. Personally I think you are just "too much of something" for one woman- don't let those hos tie you down. Bitches can be crazy.

  9. Dude--
    Your writing is very inspired and interesting, but i just gotta ask this party-game question: are you an Aquarius? 'Cause the grandiosity and newness of your ideas drift like Aquarius ideas.

  10. smartastic1/30/2007

    hm. i guess the issue here is how's you end up in bed with them if they didn't have the badonkathoughts to begin with?

  11. Anonymous1/30/2007

    get. out. of. my. mind!!!!!

  12. You're such a punk. I hate when you go all mister softee for the ladies.

  13. Can't-miss zingers!!!??
    Do share.

    I hope they involve more super-sexy automotive hyperbolae.


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