Quality Of Planet or Quality Of Life?

In this godless city of sin it often seems marriage is a dying institution. But a recent profile-piece in the NY Times offers hope that the new trend of eco-friendly living will not only save the globe, but also the blueprint for our cherished nuclear family unit. Of course this particular impact is not mentioned by Colin Beavan or Michelle Conlin, the couple currently four months into a lifestyle experiment they call “No Impact.” Mr. Beavan, who plays the role of Tony Soprano for his Environmental Crime Family, says the rules are evolving but include, “eating only food (organically) grown within a 250-mile radius of Manhattan; (mostly) no shopping for anything except said food; producing no trash (except compost); using no paper; and, most intriguingly, using no carbon-fueled transportation.”

My friends at Gawker took great joy in digging into the contradiction of a man who is not using toilet paper so he can save trees that will only be destroyed later to print his book. And they allude to No Impact Man most likely having a negative impact on his marriage. But it seems to me this lifestyle is only tolerable through the specter of marital bliss, perhaps our last vestige of lawful slavery. After all what single guy could hold up having to deal with exchanges like this time and time again while riding the non-electric dating carousel:

Her: Hi, what took you so long? And why are you all sweaty?
Eco-Man: Cars, subways, buses etc. all destroy our planet, I walk or scooter everywhere I go.

Her: Do you want to eat at this restaurant?
Eco-Man: Eh, too difficult to find one that doesn't contribute to the earth's destruction in a variety of ways.

Her: Do you want to order out?
Eco-Man: Um, no, can’t order out either, all the plastic and paper for packaging leaves too much of a footprint. But I do have shredded cabbage with fruit-scrap vinegar and some homemade yogurt in a Mason jar. Who needs take-out?

continued over at okayplayer...