Tuesday, June 13, 2006

More TAN-Toons!!!

Brandon has done four more toons, based on suggestions listed in the previous post ... I think they're all pretty amusing. But I'll post my two favorites here, and you can check out the other two on his site.

The Cracka Crackdown really feels like it's getting enough legs to stand as a regular feature.

and of course, Dear Average-Sized Penis, part of the TAN Classic Edition ... and by the way I do have to take great pains to get those six hairs on my booty perfectly straight.

UPDATE: I've added the other two toons here below.

Brandon: Illustrious Illustrator

Coming Soon: TAN Toons [TAN]


  1. Anonymous6/13/2006

    TAN these are awesome!!!! you HAVE to do these regularly

  2. Anonymous6/13/2006

    love 'em TAN. you butt-naked is hilarious.

  3. Anonymous6/13/2006

    for some reason I look at the "dear penis" drawing and keep thinking your behind could have the same beard design as your face, that's funny to me.

  4. Man, I'm like all monster jealous and shit. One of my lifetime goals is to be a cartoon character.


  5. Anonymous6/13/2006

    this looks like a good combination.

  6. Anonymous6/13/2006

    HA HA HA HA!!

    these are great TAN, keep 'em coming.

  7. Anonymous6/13/2006

    r.e. Your Gawker query:
    nice try, but there's Mr. Isaac Hayes of the notorious South Park episode. Yeah he's old and irrelevant mostly, but so are all of H-wood Scientologists these days.

  8. I think the white guy's ass has more hair, too . . . and could TAN contemplating Combo-sharing be far behind?

  9. I find that first cartoon extremely racially offensive. Your site should be shut down as you are obviously nothing more than an ignorant hate-monger. Shame on you, TAN..

    That being said, can I commission Brandon to draw a cartoon of me beating up some Cubans?

  10. Anonymous6/14/2006

    new to your blog, but having fun exploring here, cartoons are great

  11. Anonymous6/14/2006

    TAN the supernanny!!!

    and designer distressed jim crow jeans

  12. Anonymous6/15/2006

    you crack me up. found you in reference from bits and pieces. me? I am just a poor white gal from idaho. getting some learning from this here cyber hiway. keep writing.

  13. Anonymous6/15/2006

    These are brilliant! Would love to see a TANtoon with the borderline racist girl running her fingers through your wooliness.

  14. Anonymous6/16/2006

    a lot of anons on this. what gives? people scared to stand behind their votes?

    but yeah the toons are great.

  15. Anonymous6/17/2006

    I love the cartoons, and Brandon is clearly a first-class illustrator. His site is a lot of fun to see, if you haven't visited it.

    My only fear is that this and (the other) TAN-fandom might get out of hand and that we might create an entourage-shielded, paparazzi-dodging celebrity monster in the process.

    On the other, hand, over-the-top fandom definitely has its advantages (for the fans if not for the performer). So I think I'll try my hand at it.

    If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, I always say.

    So without further ado (and at the risk of furthering the creation of a celebrity monster or at least giving him the creeps), I give you:

    The TAN-fan Magnum Opus
    (to the tune of Carly Simon's "You're So Vain")

    You walked into the B-List like you were walking onto a yacht
    Your Almay mask strategically placed over your eyes
    Your feet shod in flip-flops
    You had one eye on the Gawker as you tossed your first bon mot
    And other blogs licked their lips but knew they were just doo-doo
    They were just doo-doo, and...

    You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you
    You're so vain, I bet you think this blog is about you
    Don't you? Don't you?

    You assimilated several years ago before bloggers started to weave
    Almost shot in the head while trimming your coif
    And arrested for buying CDs.

    But you perservered and you're a player now. Soon you'll be on the TV.
    I had some dreams they were holes in the ozone, holes in the ozone and...

    You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you
    You're so vain, I bet you think this blog is about you
    Don't you? Don't you?

    Well, I hear you went to the Worst. Sex. Ever.
    And your 'shrooms naturally won
    Then you climbed up the side of Conde Nast
    With a manuscript taped to your bum
    Well, you're where you should be all of the time
    And when you're not, you're with
    Some bartending muse or a literary agent
    literary agent, and...

    You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you...

  16. "they were just doo-doo..."

    HA! very funny Jumper. Thanks for the little ode (i think).

    I'm a fan of over-the-top fandom. At least the online variety. When you sing it outside my window, then we might have to talk ...

  17. Anonymous4/09/2008

    These are all nice picture he guy is very very danger .


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