Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Gawk At This (Gawker Audio)

So today actually marks the thirty-day anniversary of The Assimilated Negro.

Now I'm not a herb who cares about these things, I only know because some TAN-fans started caroling outside my window. "We love you negro, oh yes we do, we love you negro, oh yes it's true ..."

Before starting TAN I was pretty oblivious to the blog-world. I had never taken a Dooce, lost my Kottke’s, or heard of someone riding a bus in LA, let alone blogging about it. Nor the premise for the other googillion blogs out there.

And I am very appreciative for the support I’ve received as a bloggie-baby. I’ve made some new friends, learned some new things, and generally been impressed by the sheer magnitude of compelling content. My proclamation of every other blog being poop notwithstanding.

But as I enter the second month, I feel I’ve gotten my feet under me, and now I'm interested in shifting gears and, well ... *whispers* .... getting more people to check an assimilated brother out.

Along those lines, one blog I did hear about, even when I had heard about no blogs, was Gawker.

And so I find it a little ironic (and potentially racist) when Gawker and A High Class Jackass talk about blogs having “jumped the shark” ….

I say it’s all together possible that blogs have jumped the shark. But I also believe in the power to renew, refresh, and revitalize. In a word (ideally one that starts with “re”), the power to revolutionize.

Maybe things have gotten a little stale and humdrum. But things can change. We can alter the recipe. We can add a little spice, a little flavor, a little – dare I say – hip hop ...

Some people do drawings on business cards, some do blog gossip and news … here at The Assimilated Negro, in addition to being hotter than a hot pocket in the hottest microwave set on hot, we provide TAN-Jams.

So with that preface I now present what should be The Blogger Jam ’05 (or at least the jam for the minute-and-a-half it takes to listen (preferably with headphones and the volume up high)). Complete with your own set of double parentheticals.

Gawker lovers, feast your ears on the New Melanin Pipeline, bringing organic man-made apocalyptic environment-safe hip-hop marketing fuel to a blog-train that was sputtering … just a little.

Gawker wasn’t the first the first to receive this love/treatment, they won’t be the last. But for now …


Nice, can I see the lyrics???

Damn that was hot!! Ok. Now I want to tell Gawker about how The Assimilated Negro rocked their world !!

more TAN audio for me please...



  1. Anonymous10/13/2005

    haha. "our trackbacks need a walker" - that was pretty good. they'll like this.

  2. TAN, or as I prefer to call you, Ass'N, I had no idea my personal cyber-meltdown could've ever been construed as racist.

    Thanks for the point of clarification, and so as to right my wrong, I will endeavor to post about leggings, my aching feet, and that boy who never call me back.

    Shit. I might've been one step away from elisting in the KKK WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT!!!!!

  3. Clarification is what I'm here for high class, or as I like to call you, Jack.

    Negroes move into town and all of a sudden the place is getting a little "too popular" ... a tale heard far too often by TAN-Men worldwide.

    I'm glad you're gonna stick out blogentrification ... I think it'll be worth it.

  4. I linked at Blogebrity, and it should be my biggest story of the day. Can I get an mp3? Send to popsnap at gmail dot com.

  5. I am just absafuckingloutly amazed.

  6. Ass'N, you dirty, dirty sell out.


  7. You pretty much made my day, TAN-man. Hilarious. Best Yom ever, no doubt.

  8. Anonymous10/13/2005

    that was awesome. can you do a song for me if I don't post anonymously?

  9. You sir, are a dope rhyme slinger. Prepare to get approximately .03 percent more traffic, as I have linked to you.

    Ain't calling you the "N" word though. I'm a sensitive, bleedin' heart, middle class white dude.

    Keep bringing the noise. I'll endeavor to find some funk and put it in the right hands.

  10. That was hotter than a hotcake in a microwave oven. 'Nuf said.

  11. Thanks peeps. Even you Jack. And by the way, it's not dirt, it's called being a negro. And I'm not a sell out, it's called being assimilated.

  12. did i just get schooled? no doubt.

    As Tyra Banks might say : FIERCE!!!!!!

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