Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The Greatest Beatdown Of All Time

I don't know what was going on Monday. Jugglers and talking dogs. Looks like the PG-13 police broke into TAN again. Or maybe it was a Thanksgiving hangover.

Luckily I recently got a letter of kudos from the lady behind Tajstoyevsky. And she has provided the yang to counterbalance the juggling yin.

But first a couple lines of props for her blog.

Now I have a thing for my boys Fyodor and Friedrich, so anything paying homage to their legacy I'm going to be partial towards.

But the thing I like is I know a lot of corny ass herb bloggers would be like, "yeah man, I'm going to do a blog and pay tribute to Dostoyevsky. And I'm going to, like, talk about him every post. And transcribe all his books page by page and add my snarkily ironic perspective during each post/page."

But what me and Tajstoyevsky and some others realize is that Fyodor and Friedrich are a state of mind. You don't so much talk about it. You live it. Will to power bitches. That's what it's about.

So in my opinion, that's how you get choice quotables like, "I may have let a Puerto Rican just put the tip in, but I ain't making no flan!"

Anyways, this is all an unnecessary segue/intro to the video of the greatest beatdown ever. If you've never seen it before, you're in luck. If you have, it's worth another replay.

Three things to look out for:

1. the line, "Please don't show me dat at this point and time."

2. the police car driving by without even a pause

3. the "dragged by the hair into the street" maneuver

If anyone knows this girl, tell her I'm looking to hire her as TAN bodyguard/commander-in-chief.


  1. Man! she's pretty quick for a big girl. there go the stereotypes of being jolly though, right out the window.

  2. Anonymous11/29/2005

    You know, I thought this was funny.
    But I sent it to other black people, and they are all like "That's terrible."

    Does this make me a bad negro??
    Come on black people!!

    Is this not the stuff of fantasy in rap videos?? I mean Hustle n Flow was the biggest independent movie of the year...and it's title track was "Beat that Bi*@h"
    Would it have been better if that was a black man beating down a black woman??

    Obviously they're just picking and choosing what to be upset about.
    I mean, if people really want to keep it "real"...

    You don't get much more real than that.

  3. mellan - I actually think there's a certain frivolity to the beatdown. She's so dominating and she knows it. She's having fun.

    anon - yeah I really think it's fun for everyone. But I would definitely think it gets the negro stamp of approval. it certainly gets no realer.

  4. TAN - you're the best. Thanks so much for the promo. Maybe we could cross-promo our ish and then come out with a double CD...and then we could go on tour...and then you could lie to me, and I would get on stage and say that some dudes in the crowd had pistols and my life was in danger...and then you could sue my ass...and then we could settle (I didn't go to law school for nothing)...and then I could release the greatest urban operetta of all time...and then - oh shit, my bad, my time is up.

  5. is anyone else heartbroken by the little girl trying to distract her mama from beating his ass? no?
    well, he probably deserved it.


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