Tuesday, November 29, 2005

What's Wrong With Barry Bonds???

So I was talking to a new negro friend of mine recently. Though it may be a [former] new negro friend since he's been incommunicado since I raised this issue.

The issue is I told this guy that he looks like Barry Bonds. Particularly in the face, since, you know, obviously I wasn't checking out his or Barry's bod.

Anyways, I first mentioned the idea in person. And he laughed and said, "stop joking man, you're an asshole," or something to that effect. And I do joke a lot in person, so I can understand that as a muscle memory reflex to something I say.

But I have since mentioned it a couple times in e-mail, and I feel the tension is building in that someone's beating-a-dead-horse-that-no-one-wanted-to-ride-in-the-first-place kind of way. I keep pushing the Bonds' likeness, and he doesn't like it.

But I refuse to give my ground. I think the guy looks like Barry Bonds. And more to the point, I don't think looking like Barry Bonds is an automatic punchline, or anything to be ashamed of. Looks to me like he's got the symmetry , clear skin, and proportional features all working fine. Thereby making him a reasonable demonstration of handsomeness in a negro male.

Am I missing something here? Is there something wrong with Barry Bonds physically?

Your input is appreciated.


  1. Is it a bald thing? Maybe he is insulted by that, because Bary Bonds is a good-looking guy. I am confused, too.

  2. Bonds is all right.

    You know who's better, though? Jesse L. Martin, from "Law and Order" and "Rent." He's so hot, I didn't mind waiting an hour at a Verizon Wireless store to get my new phone from a guy who looked a lot like him, only more compact and with a bigger nose. But he had the same beautiful eyes and lips.

  3. Barry Bonds could get It.

  4. dude--it's not a big deal. It's like this:

    person 1: Hey--you look like X.
    person 2: Really? you think I look like X? I don't think so, but ok.

    That's it!

    like a dog with a bone.

  5. Anonymous11/29/2005

    This is the person who "looks like Barry Bonds"....and this whole thing is really not that serious. As I explained to TAN earlier in a sidebar, I just happen to have a large ego and think that I am better looking than most of the people I get likened to. Barry may be slightly larger, but I'm definitely better looking.



  6. KC, you're definitely hotter than Barry Bonds.

    Is part of the reason why you were miffed due to the fact that most people think Bonds is an asshole? Or is it strictly a looks issue.

  7. I have no idea who Barry Bonds is, but sometimes people see the strangest connections. Like, this one time, my mum said I look like Gwyneth Paltrow. (note, I REALLY DON'T!!)

  8. I love how Jack and KC's comments are jsut about verbatim saying the same thing.

    You guys know each other?

    The issue isn't primarily whether someone looks like Bonds or not. It's why would Bonds be construed as an insult. What are the lackluster qualities? And is there a majority opinion on that?

    PC - Yeah people tell me I look like Bob Dylan sometimes. (I don't either, really!)

    Rach-a-el - KC is on the juice I think. But not bonds.

  9. Anonymous11/30/2005

    Hmmm... I don't know dude... I mean... all black people look the same to me ;)

  10. Maybe it’s not an insult thing but rather an annoyance thing. You might not have been the first one to tell him that and he might be tired of hearing it. As a fellow (good looking) negro, ever since I’ve been old enough to drink, girls that are slightly tipsy come up to me all the time and tell me I look like Omar Epps. Girls who are pretty drunk tell me I look like Tyrese, Girls who are completely shit faced and on some kind of narcotic tell me I look like Tyson Beckford. I could get all pissed off about it but instead inform the intoxicated female that I’m (whoever they just mentioned) little brother. I’m usually out of their place early in the morning before they’ve sobered up or came down from their high to figure out the truth. Take what you’ve got and make it work for you.

  11. Anonymous11/30/2005

    It can be considered an insult because I think I look BETTER than motherf*cking Barry Bonds.

    Now that we've got the over with...

    Aliznha - Thanks. And yes, the asshole connotation associated w/Mr. Bonds is kinda irksome too. But seeing as I go on other people's blogs and talk about how good looking I am, I guess it kinda fits.

    Rachael/TAN - No juice. Just the fire from "ghosts of girlfriends past" as motivation, and deterrent from making the aforementioned into "real" ghosts.

    Virgle - True, true. And do you ever notice how it's usually the paler folk who make more of the "reaches"?

    Funny sh!t on your blog...And, your cousins are kinda fine, so don't feel too bad.

    Just sayin'.


  12. Barry is a tad heavy.

  13. KC is better looking, and much less angry, than BB.

  14. I'm in total agreement with 'ranter. I think KC looks more like Mos Def. And Mos, is a hottie.

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