Wednesday, November 23, 2005

More TAN Lists

Inanimate Objects That Are Prone To Incredibly Polarizing Love/Hate Relationships

snooze button


hot and cold knobs in the shower

bosses

mirrors

scales

tweezers


Phrases That Might Provoke A Hip Hop Riot To Break Out

Hi. How are you?

This is my girlfriend [name].

Alright y’all, shows just about over.

I was sitting there.

I’m gonna go to the bathroom.


Popular Items Thrown When A Hip Hop Fight Breaks Out

chairs

mothers

north face puffy jackets

du rags

domepieces


Things You Learn About Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend After They Move In With You

they’re boring

they’re not that interesting

they’re stupid

they take too long to hit the snooze button in the morning

they’re controlling

they have no concept of time when in the shower

they’re only funny one to two hours of the day, which used to be the one to two hours of the day you spent with them, but now is the one to two hours of the day you don’t

TAN Lists

8 comments:

  1. Hey Tanman:

    Hmmm. let's see if I can construct a scenario here.

    How are you? Love your North Face puffy jacket. This is my girlfriend. She's stupid and boring. My mother threw a chair at my boss. All right, y'all, show's just about over. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

    How'm I doin'?

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG, I love my tweezers. Take 'em away and I will cause a major riot, hip hop or no.

    ReplyDelete
  3. elvira - pretty goshdarn good. how long can you go ?

    deb - hmmm, you never hate the tweezers? I guess if others voice only having love for tweezers it could get removed from the list.

    ReplyDelete
  4. e-marvelous11/24/2005

    "they’re only funny one to two hours of the day, which used to be the one to two hours of the day you spent with them, but now is the one to two hours of the day you don’t."

    this could be the truest shit you ever wrote! don't be surprised if blacks try to assassinate you now!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nonononono, tweezers are evil. We love them when they get splinters out, but when we try to extirpate the stray brow hair, owowowow! Hate the tweezers!

    Maybe people shouldn't let the boring, stupid, unfunny people move in. I'm just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Orange, if that is the case, than you have just condemned me to a very lonely little life.


    thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  7. and that little list of yours is the reason why i am going to buy myself 14 cats and live alone forever!

    ReplyDelete

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