Tuesday, November 01, 2005

TAN Droppings

If I have a daughter, I plan to name her Jenny. Jenny Talia. She will no doubt want to be called Jen, or even Jenny for short. But I will insist she is always called by her full name, Jenny Talia.


I heard this line in a television commercial recently, “we couldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.”
That’s old school.


Overheard:
“she acted like I was wearing Axe, but funny enough I wasn’t wearing any deodorant.”


A Philosophical Quandary:
Have you ever been low on funds and caught yourself having to choose between Pringles or condoms?


And finally, since you were wondering, here are a few things that make TAN better than sliced bread:

1. Sliced bread can't talk.

2. Sliced bread doesn't listen.

3. Sliced bread can't make rap songs.

4. Sliced bread can't help an old lady cross the street.

5. I can make a sandwich with sliced bread, sliced bread can’t do anything with me … or you.

6. Sliced bread is smugly indifferent at all times. Or so it seems.

7. Sliced bread can't have tantric sex.

8. Sliced bread can't hail a taxi.

9. Sliced bread can’t learn basic HTML.

10. Sliced bread doesn't know Sir Anthony Hopkins is a Negro.

13 comments:

  1. On Pringles vs. Condoms: go with the pringles. You can get condoms for free.
    Plus, life is fun with a little danger. (also, how do you expect to get little Jenny Talia started?)

    ReplyDelete
  2. You couldn't say it if it weren't true.

    Pringles suck. Gotta go with the condoms. But Cheetos vs. condoms? Cheetos would win.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Overheard - One women saying to another woman as they were leaving Macy's: I just walked away from the Number 2 perfume in the nation!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous11/01/2005

    geni talia

    that's funny.

    don't name her that. she'll kill you when she gets old enough.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Go with the condoms. Otherwise, you could have a daughter named Pringles. And that's not a good look.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yeah, but Wonder Bread helped wipe out diseases, AND still helps build strong bodies 8 ways. I know my body would not be the hardass killing machine it is without wonderful Wonder Bread.

    http://www.wonderbread.com/background.html

    ReplyDelete
  7. that's as bad as naming your son Mike... you know.

    Sliced bread is SO old school.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yeah, TAN man, but I can eat sliced bread and I can't...never mind.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Maybe you can't, Orange, but Dr. Lector could. I'd like to see Doctor Lector on the Iron Chef.

    TAN, may you only produce baby boys!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Aw, man! Rachael, I was going with suggestive, and you turned it into a whole cannibalism thing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It definitely sucks when someone kills the mood and turns it from suggestive to cannibalism.

    ReplyDelete
  12. And you're no better, following the word sucks with the word kills. C'mon, show us some lovin'!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Pringles vs condoms is easy if you're in a monogamous relationship and you've both been tested. It's risky, but you know what time of the month it is.

    Pringles? Well, there's no getting around that.

    ReplyDelete

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