Why This Thanksgiving Was Different From All The Rest

So I’ve been asked the usual round of “how was your thanksgiving” questions. And normally the question barely merits a response, but this year I had a little variation to my standard day of eating a lot but never really doing much thanking or giving.

However, in order to properly explain why Thanksgiving Day was different this year, I have to go back to August 18th 2005. In hindsight this day would be identified as the day where Act One of my life came to a dramatic conclusion.

A few days previous (8/15) I got a call from my father’s recording studio, saying someone had called there looking for me. The caller said they hosted a radio show and wanted to interview me about my collective The Blue Room, and a show I did in the spring, The Ultimate Battle: Poets Versus Rappers.

So of course, rapper/writer/not-yet-blogger star that I am, I had to ice the interviewer a couple days before getting back to them. I had way too much panhandling, walking of dogs, and begging friends for money to do to call her back immediately.

The day I returned the call was August 18th. We talked about The Blue Room. And we talked about the show I did. And the radio show she does. And we arranged to talk more over e-mail and subsequently schedule the radio interview.

Here is the thread of the e-mail exchange that followed:

On 8/18/05, Honey wrote:

Hi [TAN], This is star, Program Manager/Director of Harlem 411. I spoke to you earlier today (Thursday. 8/18) about setting up a radio interview on WHCR 90.3FM. Per our last conversation, I asked that you send me some info about your organization “Blue Room Hip Hop.” The info should include when your organization started, how the idea came about, what type of Hip Hop does the Blue Room produce, etc.. This info will help our host develop a dialogue, and inform the audience about your organization. Once I get this info I will get back to you with a time for the segment/interview. My show comes on every Friday 6-8 pm. You can also let me know how your schedule is. If you have any questions about this interview, please let me know.

Also, I’m not trying to be dramatic, but please take into consideration the info I’m about to share with you. If you want to share it with anyone else you could. This info is to be shared with yourself, me (Honey), and Bunny. Do you remember us? We miss you very much, and we’ve been looking for you for years because we love you. All of us are not kids anymore, we are grown and mature. I’m sure we can talk. I wish and hope you would get back to me/reply to this email. I truly look forward to hearing from you again.

[phone ####]
[e-mail]

Regards, HoneyStar

On 8/18/05 TAN wrote:

I can get you some materials later this evening....

I'm not completely understanding the second paragraph :

<< "Also, I'm not trying to be dramatic, but please take into consideration the info I'm about to share with you. If you want to share it with anyone else you could. This info is to be shared with yourself, me (Honey), and Bunny. Do you remember us? We miss you very much, and we've been looking for you for years because we love you. All of us are not kids anymore, we are grown and mature. I'm sure we can talk. I wish and hope you would get back to me/reply to this email. I truly look forward to hearing from you again." >>

Is this intended for me, or accidentally included? If it's relevant to me, can you please explain more.

Thanks,
TAN

On 8/18/05, Honey wrote:

Okay, let me try to explain this again.

Is this [old TAN nickname]? Son of [TAN's father], and [TAN's mother]. Do you remember [TAN's mother] having a baby daughter name "Honey"? That's me. Do you remember Bunny, [TAN's mother's niece], [aunt J's] daughter. You use to live on common wealth Ave. in the Bronx, sound view. You was young/little, I know you remember. I have pictures to verify

On 8/18/05, TAN wrote:

I"m speechless.

This is unbelievable ....

I'm going to take an indeterminate amount of time to comprehend this ... and then I will call or e-mail again ....

-TAN

On 8/18/05, Honey wrote:

Okay no problem. I understand it's shocking for you, take your time. It's the same way for me as well, to have finally found you. Please feel free to contact me anytime when your ready, and I'll tell you much more.

Much love,
Honey

On 8/18/05 TAN wrote:

indeterminate equaled about ten minutes ....

do you have pics? do you have a site? If you saw/see the video on my site, I'm the guy doing the song.

I'm still coming back down to earth, but I would say I'd like to talk asap, and meet asap. I did my little research and saw the pieces in "the Citizen". And the byline reading you live in Harlem. I live in East harlem - if you don't know?? Do you know? What do you know?? How did this finding come about??? Feel free to disclose whatever you want ... though I'm not sure if you just want to wait to meet? ....

let me know

-TAN

On 8/18/05, Honey wrote:

I definitely want to meet, and talk to you ASAP as well. How's your schedule? Yes, I do live in Harlem. I didn't know you lived in Harlem as well. I would like to discuss, and answer all the questions you have, including the one's below. Your friend ([name's] younger brother) from Prep for Prep helped me out in finding you. Also [name's] friend who is my cousin, [name] helped me. Do you remember her? She's an outstanding muscian/bassist. There's so much I want to talk to you about, I don't think I can write it in one email.

On 8/18/05 TAN wrote:

Schedule??!!? Do you think you consult the schedule in this type of scenario?

Not I ...

I'm about to call ....

*inhale ....*

So 8/18/05 was the day I exhaled and [re]discovered I have a sister. And this Thanksgiving was the first one I spent with her. And since I'm nothing but a hard-candy-shell covering a chewy-gooey center I'm going to have to stop talking about this now and simply say it was a happy thanksgiving, and I'm very happy, and giving thanks for the new person in my life.

The picture below is one of me and my newly found / long-lost sister. It was taken upstate, a couple days after the e-mail exchange listed above. I don't know why I'm not smiling. I might still be in shock. Or I might just be trying to make sure everyone notices how beautiful she is.

TAN/TAN's Long-Lost Sister
a picture/moment twenty-three years in the making