Friday, November 11, 2005

This One Is For Krucoff (audio)

I had to wait a little bit on this one. Give the drama a little time to breathe.

I know if you ask the average person in America, they won't know Andrew Krucoff from an assimilated negro.

But I also know the average American won't know about the latest indie-film on the rise.

And to me the Andrew Krucoff drama plays like a classic indie-film.

Sure, at the heart of it, Krucoff's saga is relatively inconsequential beyond the sphere of him and his mom. No one gives a Freddy Ferrer about some no-name freelancer who got canned for forwarding an e-mail. Maybe there could have been a more humanitarian admonishment. Maybe rules are rules. Either way, no one cares five minutes later.

And that could also be an apt description for the premise of your average indie-film. Inconsequential drama.

But yet at the same time, there is some genuine intrigue. Because the reality is there are some people who care. The main character is real, in this case Mr. Krucoff, and he's part of a community. And that community cares (goddammit!). And they support him. And because of the particulars characters in that community, and their particular circumstances, that support can create special scenes. Scenes like the main character becoming a news story in the most important newspaper in the world, even though he did nothing more than lose a "temporary" job over silliness. Something millions of people do all the time, to little, or more likely, no fanfare.

It's definitely not the Berlin Wall coming down, but it is real life, just like the Berlin Wall coming down.

And every Lost In Translation is basically about taking inconsequential drama and extrapolating it out to herculean proportions.

And that's cool to see, sometimes, because it's real. There can be no drama bigger than our own, no matter how small it is.

And so this post is essentially a toast to Krucoff, [perhaps] the blog-nominee for the Sundance Film Festival. And if you don't know the story....

1st Act - Our hero, Krucoff, happily works for Conde Nast. He is fired for forwarding a seemingly innocuous e-mail to the evil and nasty grim reaper of the media world Sauron ... errr I mean Gawker.

2nd Act - As with any good 2nd act a drama within the drama unfolds as our hero Krucoff is initially supported by the masses. But as his celebrity spreads, the vengeful Lord of the Backlash enters into the picture. Once revered, our hero is now kicked and spat upon for exceeding his celebrity quotient and presumably getting too big for his britches.

3rd Act - The Lord of the Backlash eventually backs off, as he always does over time. But things are not quite the same. Nevertheless our hero keeps his head up and soldiers on, uncertain of what the future may hold, but certain that whatever it is, he's ready for it. (And no way he's forwarding anything to Gawker!!! *cue laughtrack*)

And that's it. No big Hollywood ending. Just a good indie-film, decent story, great characters, and ... I don't know, some other shit.

I consider this post to be the end credits to "Krucoff, Forwarded"

And I consider this song to be the hot-like-fire anthem that comes in right after the credits and gets the crowd ready to start some french revolution type ish:

yo! where's the lyrics?

let krucoff know he's in the motherf*cking house

more TAN audio


  1. Anonymous11/11/2005

    Another TAN banger!

    This is a friend of "Jack's", and a fellow prep/boarding schooled, assimilated, non-threatening negro with an affinity for white women.

    I've been meaning to write something for quite some time, but you know how lazy black folks can be some times...

    Also, up until recently, I was not only providing protection to the white women you saw in those pics on Jack's site, but was boning one too( Yay me!). Just thought you'd like to know, and be a little a proud.

    Your brother in Prep, a fellow raisin in milk....


  2. Jesus, KC. You're so fucking delicate with the words. A true poet.

  3. The Krucoff madness! Let it die with you.

  4. thanks for the props KC. you should obviously have a blog, your comment makes the underrated value of the word "boning" very apparent.

    I also like the very assimilated negro like juxtaposition of "boning" (negro) and "Yay Me!" (assimilated).

    Do the girls verify that my songs are hot-pocket bangers by running them by you?

    nichelle - the credits and final song have played. I think the movie is over.

  5. just incredible. You're like the blogosphere's resident PR maven.

  6. Anonymous11/11/2005

    Too lazy for a blog. I live vicariously through people like Jack and yourself.

    Yeah, I'm trying to bring "boning" to the masses(double entendre intended).

    Wish I was the sole evaluator for "cool" with my girls, but they're usually pretty on point with their sh!t. Every once and awhile though, they'll miss something more than a retarded person misses the point.



  7. thanks for the somewhat garbled shoutout, umm, yo, but next time could you please bleep out the fucking curse words?

  8. I just checked out these songs, and that TAN CD/audio. you got some seriously sick shit here. your lyrics are ri-dick-ulous. That Kill Yourself one is top shelf. why the fuck are you not signed or doing a tour or something? seriously dog. work this shit, you'll make some serious dough.

  9. HOLY SHIT, I just listened--that's phenomenal.

  10. malatron - yeah I'll be sennding out invoices soon.

    CR - word. we'll get the radio version ready for you soon.

    jigga - tell Sean Carter I'm ready to roll.

    jack - you get a personal shout and don't listen 'til end of day. tsk tsk. you still in the mothereffin'* house though.

    *curses modified for copyranter

  11. Oh man, thanks for the R.I.P. I've always wanted to attend my own funeral.

    I hope to hear this in the clubs before the year is out.

  12. What kind of payola will it take to get "Muk in the muthafuckin' house" on the next song?

  13. Hey muk - it must take a lot of cash...remember he's not doing this for the love.


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