For The Man Or Beast In Your Life

You know how you might be playing with your doggie, and you have to sort of back up because his breath sells like piping hot ass?

Now ladies, have you ever been playing with your boyfriend and had the same reaction?

Well in that case Burt's Bees Peppermint Breath Drops are for you. You'll notice at the bottom of the label it says they are "for Man and Beast."

Kind of how Fast Franks come in Beef and Meat.

I just want to meet the girl who's administering breath drops to their mangy boyfriend. I want to know if the boyfriend sits patiently on his hindquarters, or if he is evasive, and you have to chase him all over the house.

I'd like to have a friend that forced me to carry these around with me because I was never sure when their breath might be so blisteringly assty, such that while they're telling me about work, or their blahg, I'm compelled to drip a little peppermint in their mouth to help maintain the proper atmospheric pressure. I'd like this friend and I to be close enough so that neither of us even react when I do this. Like how guy-friends pass gas, and scratch their balls sans restraint around each other. And girls, presumably, compare tampons and make-out in wet t-shirts.

So if you always clear the room when you exhale, please refer to my commenter-to-friend questionnaire, and holla. Actually, don't holla, just get in touch via e or something. We'll holla later, after we've properly prepped.

Burt looks like the kind of guy who might have some hot dog breath