Wednesday, August 16, 2006

For The Man Or Beast In Your Life

You know how you might be playing with your doggie, and you have to sort of back up because his breath sells like piping hot ass?

Now ladies, have you ever been playing with your boyfriend and had the same reaction?

Well in that case Burt's Bees Peppermint Breath Drops are for you. You'll notice at the bottom of the label it says they are "for Man and Beast."

Kind of how Fast Franks come in Beef and Meat.

I just want to meet the girl who's administering breath drops to their mangy boyfriend. I want to know if the boyfriend sits patiently on his hindquarters, or if he is evasive, and you have to chase him all over the house.

I'd like to have a friend that forced me to carry these around with me because I was never sure when their breath might be so blisteringly assty, such that while they're telling me about work, or their blahg, I'm compelled to drip a little peppermint in their mouth to help maintain the proper atmospheric pressure. I'd like this friend and I to be close enough so that neither of us even react when I do this. Like how guy-friends pass gas, and scratch their balls sans restraint around each other. And girls, presumably, compare tampons and make-out in wet t-shirts.

So if you always clear the room when you exhale, please refer to my commenter-to-friend questionnaire, and holla. Actually, don't holla, just get in touch via e or something. We'll holla later, after we've properly prepped.

Burt looks like the kind of guy who might have some hot dog breath


  1. Great visual! You're sitting in a Bistro having a lovely chat while waiting for a Chai Latte. Every so often, out come the peppermint drops acknowledged by neither party. The next day, the story would be blogged by countless observers who just had to tell the tale.

    For the record, girls always make out in wet t-shirts, but it's usually after the pillow fight.

  2. I meant to say something to you the last time you licked my face...

  3. Anonymous8/16/2006

    that nigga burt is a slave owning white motherfucker. aint no niggas trying to fuck with no bees. come with the real.

    oh yeah and check the new niggaknow update -1

  4. I agree, great visual. I've actually used these with my dog before. not with any of my friends, but i'm thinking about it

  5. Anonymous8/16/2006

    I know some folks who could use a few drops... But just how do you tell someone he/she stinks? Every morning I have to force a laxative down my kitty's throat through a baby syringe. Could you do that to a person too?

  6. Anonymous8/16/2006

    nothing like a man with a beard and bad breath. rugged.

  7. Can I use them on my cat? She's got breath that'll take your eyebrows off.

  8. My dog's breath is handy for curing cancer, so I won't be giving my baby any drops, there are lives that need saving out there.

  9. Thanks for this wonderful news! I put a link to your useful post on my blog.


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