Presidential Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Be afraid minorities and poor people, be very very afraid. The buzz building around Rudy Giuliani running for president has reached critical mass, and you should be extremely concerned.

Rudy has way more than enough star power and political savvy to totally muck up what should be an election year that's primed for a Democratic victory. He's been Knighted, a Time Person of the Year, and always has the 9/11 Ace up his sleeve. He's got a track record and attitude that would totally capitalize on "George Bush With A Brain" positioning. And as we see in the pic, he's also got quotes on "leadership" already planted on Starbucks cups across America. Who knew the proceeds from your latte were going to fund the GOP election campaign?

Rudy's even got a little dirt in his past to give him that Bill Clinton man-of-the-people panache. This is all very troubling.

Part of the optimism with Hillary and Obama was based on timeliness. Their candidacy was aligning right with an enormous void of leadership, such that even those who might otherwise be resistant to change could look past the negro or female thing just to get a competent life form in the position of command. This was supposed to be the case with Kerry, and he proved to be competent, just not a life form. But now everyone knows we were duped and suckered AGAIN, so what they hey, bring on the alternative candidates. Anything but the status quo. But Rudy's presence now casts a huge shadow on the festivities. He has some warts, but with Hillary and Obama splitting all of the "vote for change" crowd, a white man as well decorated as he is is extremely dangerous. He's like The Death Star for the Republican empire.

Thinking about the potential matchups: I think I prefer Obama v. Rudy over Hillary v. Rudy. Before Giuliani stepped in I was choosing Hillary's seniority over Obama, but somehow with Rudy in the mix I think the gender thing is a disadvantage. It's easier to be subtly sexist than subtly racist. Plus 'Liani's just ruthless. If you're mixing it up with him you want to send the women and children home, cause it might get nasty out. Obama might be a little too much of a punk as well, but I'd bet on him breaking out the brass knuckles before Lady Clinton. Although, Lady Clinton does have Republican Kryptonite in the form of her husband. So it's a tough call. Jury's still out I guess. Really Bill Clinton should just be made King of the United States, but I guess that's not an option.

Rudy vs. Hillary would be pretty crazy actually, that would probably be the most entertaining election campaign.

Either way you add it up though, us Ewoks, Chewbaccas, and Princess Leias should be afraid of Rudy. Very, very afraid.