Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Oh Yeah. No Biggie. The Dog Ate My Face. That's All.

Catching up on some news...

So I presume most people by now saw the report about the face transplant surgery performed on a woman in France. If not, here's the Times story.

I've seen talk about the pros and cons of facial reconstruction. But I haven't seen enough conversation on the main storyline, which is, how did someone's pet Labrador eat their face?

"Local news reports have suggested that the woman, who is divorced, fell unconscious and that the dog chewed and clawed her face in an attempt to revive her."
more ...

This seems like a stretch to me. Whenever I see the shows about dog rescues it sure seems like the dogs can distinguish between "reviving" and "eating." And who remains unconscious while a dog eats your nose, lips, and chin? That's a heavy sleeper for your ass.


The other news I snoozed on last week was "World Aids Day," and "Blog Against Racism" day.

Blog against racism I found out about through everyone's favorite fruity mother, Orange.

AIDS day I saw on Gawker amongst other places.

Since I'm already tres late, I won't expound much. I'll just honor both occasions in one shot, via a new t-shirt slogan and AIDS acronym I came up with:

(front)
AIDS stands for ...

(back)
Africa
Is
Da
Shit

Pretty hipster huh? I say print it up and put it in Urban Outfitters asap
.

6 comments:

  1. Anonymous12/06/2005

    Phenomenal--- one of your best posts-- thats top notch pulitzer prize winning blog writing there. What range.

    ReplyDelete
  2. your psychologist12/06/2005

    you are crazy dude

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love your blog. Though I must hate you since you are a New Yorker and every New York guy I have met has tried to kill me Which has been one so far.

    Oh, and put me on the list for one of the AIDS T-Shirts. Because Africa truly is Da Shit

    ReplyDelete
  4. anon - thanks

    psychologist - what are you doing here? you can't charge me for this!!

    crystal - thanks. hopefully I'll get to try and kill you sometime.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, ya know those links to the NY Times don't give ya any SE value, because there's a login blockin' the way to the resource you're trying to link to.

    2hp

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous5/01/2006

    Grape minds think alike . . pass me back that jug when your done . . .

    The read I got on this one is captured in the smoke and mirrors of the following items.

    "In May last year Isabelle's face was severely disfigured when her dog mauled her while she was asleep as a result of a medication overdose. Apparently, the dog was trying to revive her - which it apparently managed to do. The dog was later put down, against the family's wishes." (from: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/healthnews.php?newsid=42531)

    Or as the Washington Post put it.

    "Dinoire lost much of her face when she was mauled by her pet Labrador while knocked out from drugs she took to forget a trying week." (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/04/30/AR2006043000287.html)

    Someplace beyond the middle ground here lies the truth of the matter.

    The dog a member in good standing of the 'Friendly Critter Club' and known to be safe around kids, an all round 'good pet' if you're into ownership on that level. Now if it had of been a 'bo' eat'n Presa Canario like the ones we heard about a while ago in SF. Well the story would have been trimmed down to a one liner and slipped away with the rest of unneeded history. It wouldn't have made it to anybodies radar.

    As for the 'bitch' in this story. Over dosing herself because she had a 'trying week', though an under statement, speaks volumes to this woman's personality. 'Here, let me take so much dope I pass out for as long as possible rather than any attempt to deal with the problems. And oh, by the way, because I'm such a looser I won't bother to put food out for the 'family pet'.' Now bowsers gotta be PO'd about this on a number of levels, getting outside to do its business and the like. Which in itself is a statement about the woman's good housekeeping skills. So if the pet, being left without any food, is reduced to eating this broads face off, albeit sad and amusing in a 'car wreck' sorta way, it isn't at all surprising. Given she took such great care for herself one has be believe the dog was as much of a mess as its mistress.

    Now regarding her current disdain for mirrors, it's not much of a leap to bet the repairs may have been implemented on the outside, but the interiors still a mess. Expect this one to end a little ways down the road with a simple one paragraph epitaph, 'Distraught over personal problems she was unable to over come, the worlds first face plant recipient ended her life . . . .' If it gets a second paragraph, it'll be about the doctors and the procedure.

    ReplyDelete

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