(in no particular order)
eat
drink
piss
try to ascertain how many times you pass gass per hour. (f/h)
start writing anything that doesn’t have a deadline attached to it.
finish writing anything that doesn’t have a deadline attached to it
shit
+
shower (always a good combination)
Masturbate
+
Shower (always a good combination)
Wonder if there are people who shit+masturbate, with no shower. That's not a good combination.
comment on blogs
read blogs
re-comment on blogs, since they were off topic the first time around
arrange the icons on your desktop so that they are in a perfect line, horizontal and vertical
spell out your name using the icons on your desktop
wonder if you should de-clutter your desktop
declutter desktop
peruse background image options for computer
find out about this “atkins diet” everyone’s talking about.
pick up a second language
lose the first language
hate on something or someone
think about how smooth life will be once you get this work done that you're not doing
go to the salt water taffy shop …
tell myself the only thing you have to do is "stay black and die" (negroes only)
get arrested (negroes only)
wonder about the mystery wrapped in an enigma that is woman
make a rap song about nothing important
go out and hang my sneakers on some telephone wire
iron underwear, socks, hats, and paper towels
take a look around the apt. and make mental notes about all the cleaning and organizing that needs to be done
laundry!
reminisce about the last time dusting occurred
write down your "big picture" goals (retire tomorrow, live on an island, change the world etc.)
see what’s on tv
see what’s on the tv channels I never watch
read magazines
read a book
read tarot cards
read the body language of people walking on the street
take a fork out the drawer, flip it up in the air, catch it, and then put it back in the drawer
do it again, but miss the catch, pick the fork off the floor, and put it back without washing it
come back later and wash the fork
call mayor Bloomberg and leave a message asking if he knows "what's black and white and read all over?"
get drowsy thinking about the work you need to do
start working
fall asleep five minutes in
wake up and start over ....
the life of a procrastinator never ends, it just keeps being put off........mr. grim reaper? yes, i'll be with you in a moment......just need to organize all the paperclips in my desk drawer first
ReplyDeletebrilliant. everything except the tarot cards. but the russian judges are the only ones who will dock you for that so don't worry about it.
ReplyDeletemy favorite timewaster: irritating my cats.